What to Do When Managers Won’t Own HR Responsibilities (and Expect You to Fix Everything)

Earlier this year I shared some thoughts on how to train your managers to pick up their share of the HR load. Things like handling employee relations, onboarding support, and basic policy enforcement. That post was all about giving leaders the skills they need to lighten the pressure on HR.

Today I want to flip the script and talk about what managers actually own versus what falls to HR and what to do when managers push back, drop the ball, or toss things back in your lap with the classic: “That’s not my job.”

Being the only HR person (or on a tiny team) usually means managers treat you like the catch-all. Performance issues, documentation, even the most basic questions they should already know the answer to land on your desk.

And when you gently push back? You get the dreaded: “That’s not my job.”

Here’s the truth: it is their job. HR is not management’s personal assistant. We’re here to build structure, coach leaders, and guide strategy. We are not here to chase down every piece of documentation or have every difficult conversation for them. 

So what do you do when managers won’t own their HR responsibilities?

The first step is being clear about expectations and holding the line when needed. Managers often lean on HR because we let them. 

Not intentionally, but when you’ve got a stack of fires to put out, it feels easier to just do it yourself than to coach someone through it. The problem is that this trains them to keep bouncing things back. 

A better approach is to make the boundaries visible: “As the manager, you’re responsible for coaching your team. HR is here to support, not replace you.” 

Offer tools and templates, but redirect the work to where it belongs. A simple, “I’ll walk you through it this time, but you’ll need to take the lead from here” goes a long way.

Of course, not all resistance looks the same. Some managers avoid responsibility because they’re nervous or inexperienced, and in those cases, coaching makes a difference. You can role-play conversations or give them a script to build confidence. 

But then there are the ones who say, “I don’t want to deal with it. Can you just handle it?” That’s not a skills gap, that’s a refusal to step up. When you run into that wall, it’s time to escalate and get alignment with their leader: “I’ve provided tools and coaching, but this manager isn’t willing to step into their role.”

The other piece is repositioning HR. Every time you pick up work that belongs to managers, you unintentionally reinforce the idea that HR is there to clean up after them. Remember, we’re partners, not personal assistants. HR designs the playbook, managers run the plays. HR provides strategy, managers deliver execution. 

When managers try to hand things back, a simple redirect: “This is something your team needs to hear directly from you. I can support you with tools, but the ownership is yours”, keeps the dynamic healthy and balanced.

And yes, managers will still push back in the moment. Picture these familiar scenarios:

• Documentation: 

  • Manager: “I don’t have time to write this up. Can you just do it?”

  • HR: “I’ll share a template, but it needs to reflect your direct observations.”

• Performance conversation: 

  • Manager: “Can you meet with them instead? They won’t take it well.”

  • HR: “I’ll help you script it, and I can sit in if you’d like, but this needs to come from you.”

• “Not my job”: 

  • Manager: “That’s HR’s role, not mine.”

  • HR: “Actually, managing performance is part of every leader’s role. HR supports the process, but accountability rests with you.”

At the end of the day, we walk a fine line: supporting managers without enabling them. It’s not always comfortable to push back, but every time you take on their responsibilities, you dilute your role and weaken the organization’s leadership structure. 

Setting expectations, coaching where it makes sense, escalating when needed, and reinforcing HR as a strategic partner keeps the balance where it belongs.

And the next time you hear “that’s not my job”? You’ll be ready to say, “Actually, it is.”

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