When Culture Becomes Cake: How HR Can Reset the Meaning of Engagement

Walk into almost any workplace on a Tuesday afternoon, and you’ll find it: the breakroom cake. Maybe it’s someone’s birthday, a work anniversary, or an attempt to boost morale with frosting and sprinkles. Celebrations like these are fun and meaningful in the moment, but when perks and parties become the primary shorthand for “culture,” organizations risk missing the bigger picture.

As HR professionals, we know culture isn’t cake. It’s how people communicate, how leaders behave, and how connected employees feel to one another and the mission of the business. The challenge is rebalancing without becoming the person who “kills the fun.”

Here’s how to shift the conversation gently and intentionally.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Good

Before pivoting away from perks, start by honoring what employees appreciate. People genuinely enjoy recognition, treats, and time to celebrate together. Say it out loud:

“I love that our team takes the time to celebrate milestones. That’s an important part of who we are.”

This acknowledgment avoids the trap of framing perks as “bad” or “useless.” They have their place, just not as the sole measure of culture.

Step 2: Redirect the Conversation

This is where my own story comes in.

The first small employer I ever worked for had a kick-ass VP of HR who I reported to. She was all about the business and was devoted to making the organization structurally sound,

at least in HR. Unfortunately, she was unexpectedly let go one day. Suddenly, there was no one else between me and the executive team, so I requested a meeting with the CEO to better understand what went sideways and how I could support moving forward.

His response? “Just focus on planning parties, find ice cream trucks to come to campus.”

In that moment, I knew I had to leave. One, party planning is not my forte. But two, and more importantly, that’s not why I sought out an HR job.

That conversation cemented for me how dangerous it is when leaders mistake perks for culture.

So when you find yourself in a similar spot, broaden the definition of engagement. A few scripts you can use:

• “Celebrations are one way we connect, but what if we made it easier to connect day-to-day too?”

• “Our culture isn’t just what we do once a month in the breakroom, it’s how supported people feel in their work every day.”

• “Cake is great, but culture also shows up in how leaders handle conflict, how we communicate, and how decisions are made.”

This language helps employees and leaders see that perks are just one piece of a much larger puzzle.

Step 3: Introduce Small Shifts

You don’t need sweeping changes to reset the culture conversation. Start small with practices that emphasize connection and communication:

• Team check-ins: Regular 15-minute huddles where employees share updates or ask for support.

• Leader modeling: Encourage managers to practice transparency, give real-time feedback, and show curiosity about employees’ ideas.

• Peer recognition: Create a simple system for employees to thank one another for contributions, not just birthdays.

• Feedback loops: Add structured ways for employees to share concerns and suggestions, then close the loop with action.

These habits reinforce that culture lives in everyday interactions, not just special occasions.

Step 4: Keep the Fun, Add the Meaning

The goal isn’t to cut out the cupcakes, it’s to layer in substance. Pair celebrations with connection-building moments:

• Birthday + Story: Alongside the cake, invite the employee to share a fun fact or recent win at work.

• Anniversary + Appreciation: Have the team share what they’ve learned from the person over the past year.

• Holiday + Connection: Use the gathering as a moment to reflect on team goals or values.

By linking recognition to communication and leadership behaviors, you keep the fun alive while grounding it in culture.

Cake will always have a place in the breakroom. But culture is built in the moments in between. When HR redefines engagement as connection, communication, and leadership behavior, the sugar becomes a bonus, not the main ingredient. That’s the kind of culture that lasts long after the frosting is gone.