Speaker 1

Welcome back to the HR Connection, the podcast built solely for those managing human resources and a 1 to 500 employee headcount. My name is Sabrina Baker. I am your host for the HR Connection, and I'll be joined by Marie Rolston in just a few minutes. And today we are talking about performance management and specifically, uh, discipline, performance discipline, and then escalation conversations, all of those things that leaders in your business probably try to avoid. We're going to try to give you a very simple framework for navigating those conversations, both with employees, but really encouraging leaders to be able to handle them themselves. We hope that you will find this helpful, and if you are not subscribed, now would be a really good time to do so, as all of our content is going to be geared towards small business HR. All right, Marie, so you know that I have strong opinions about performance management and the, the lack thereof in most small businesses, um, the lack of feedback, the lack of the way that we do performance reviews, just the whole thing. I, I have really strong opinions about how it should go and how it never goes. Um, and what we find is that you have usually one of two types of leaders inside of small orgs, and this is through no fault of their own. It's normally because they haven't been trained. But you have a leader who either avoids all performance discussions to save their life because they don't want to have conflict, they don't want to have confrontation, they don't know how to have the discussion, and so they would rather just sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away. Or you have the manager who leads through threat, fear, and intimidation, and everybody is scared to death that they're going to get fired every other day for even minor wrongdoings. Now, I find that the first person exists more, that we have more people who avoid the conflict, uh, than we do who are that, that threat, fear, and intimidation. But when you have that latter person, they really can wreak havoc on culture and engagement. Um, but having said all of that, what I see and what I find the most is that what happens by that avoidance, what happens by these leaders who don't know how to have conversations, or we don't have any structure inside the organization around performance management, is that we end up in a crisis. We end up in something that is so much bigger than it needed to be simply because we avoided it. We didn't have a process. We didn't know what to do. And so we let things linger and we let them fester, as my Southern grandmother would say. Um, and they have now bubbled over into something that's massive, and it's really kind of wreaking havoc on culture and engagement and productivity and people's ability to focus. Um, and so I'm happy that we're talking about performance management today. I'm happy that we're going to talk through some structural pieces that we think are really important for employee employers to have so that they don't have that situation where they've just let everything bubble up and then it's this complete crisis mode.

Speaker 2

Yep, exactly. And you know what you just described is that reputation problem that performance management really has. And so what we want to talk about today is just building something different. Now, this isn't a policy that lives in a handbook that nobody opens, but instead we really want to talk to everybody about a real approach that starts before anything goes wrong, uh, gives managers something that they'll actually use, and then gives employees a fair shot at knowing what's expected of them before the stakes actually get high or, um, you know, blows up, kind of what you were talking about. We're we are also going to going to cover why avoidance has a real cost, uh, what an intentional process actually looks like in practice, and then how you coach a manager through a hard conversation before it falls apart. You know, if you've ever walked into a performance situation that's been quietly building over s or for six months and no one ever told HR, this one's going to be for you. Yes. And as we dive in, I really want to kick us off by starting to talk about why and where these things go wrong, or where the performance management process goes wrong. And I want to start with the avoidance pattern. Now, the most common performance management failure in smaller organizations is not a manager who handles things badly. It's a manager who who handles nothing. Now, these folks, they don't have the conversation because it's uncomfortable, uh, or because they don't know how, or, you know, maybe it's because they're just hoping the problem disappears. You kind of already touched on this when you opened. Uh, but what happens next is definitely predictable. We see small term small concerns become patterns, uh, patterns become serious problems. And by the time anybody says anything formally, the employee is completely blindsided by a conversation that just references things from months ago, um, that apparently mattered more than anyone let on. When you think about it, that's just not fair to the employee, right? And it really does create liability for the organization, uh, because that paper trail starts the day that someone decided it was over versus the day the problem actually started. Now, there is a flip side to this that's just as common and just as damaging. You you we see a lot of managers, um, they don't just avoid the conversation, but they also come in really hot, right? They sound emotional or punitive or maybe inconsistent in what they're saying. And when this happens, the employee just shuts down, and then HR gets called in to manage the fallout. And really what happens there is you've done more damage than the original performance concern ever would have. Now, the goal is neither of those versions, right? It's actually we want the the goal we want is to be calm and structured and early with these things. Another way we see performance management go sideways is not having a clearly defined policy. Now, most smaller organizations, they do have something in their handbook about performance management. Uh, this might look like annual reviews. Uh, there might be a PIP template in a folder no one's ever opened. But what actually happens looks nothing like that, right? Nobody does the reviews. The PIP comes out when someone is just ready to be managed out. And when you think about it, there's really no in between. There's just silence and then formality. So with that, the gap exists because the policy was built for compliance versus actually being used. Now, that policy, right, it doesn't actually tell a manager what to do when they notice something small. And it tends to skip straight towards the formal action, which feels like a massive escalate or escalation for what started, um, you know, maybe as like a few missed deadlines. So the manager, they find themselves not doing anything because the only tool they have feels like a sledgehammer. Now, with all of that, the fix here is not a better policy, but it is putting a process in place that managers understand and will actually use before things get formal. 

 

Speaker 1

Yeah, you know, I think one of the biggest points from that, and the thing that we see so often, is how often performance conversations are surprises, how employees are blindsided by the fact that something has been going on for months and now they're like about to be fired over it when nobody has talked to them e-ever. They this is like they're getting their first and final warning all in the same, same time. We talk about that with performance reviews, how we'll do an annual performance review and how suddenly the employee is hearing about things that they did six months ago that's now impacting their pay because that thing six months ago that they were never talked about is going to bring down their overall remarks on their performance review, and now it could potentially affect pay. So that avoidance piece, um, is such a a trigger in so many different ways to negative culture, negative engagement, um, and just a negative overall growth, I think, for the organization. So, um, it's definitely such a consistent pattern that we see across all of our clients and, you know, I'm sure small businesses everywhere. Um, but the the overall avoidance to have these conversations and have them timely is such a strong cost. And I think that this very simple process that you're going to walk through, uh, can really make such a difference in them.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it really does. So with that, I really am excited to talk about this because a very simple but intentional process really does go a long way. So I'm going to talk about what that actually looks like. So we do want to start with what employees actually dread. And before we get into the framework, I want to name something about how employees experience this process because it does change how you think about every step. Employees don't dread performance management because they don't want accountability. They dread it because it usually means they're about to be blindsided, right? The conversation happens and they're just sitting there thinking, you know, this is the first time anyone has ever said any of this to me, and they're right. So a process that works for employees, it looks like this: one, clear expectations before there's a problem; two, early feedback when something's off; and three, a real explanation of what needs to change, why it matters, and what support exists to help them get there. And really, that's also a process that works really well for the organization. We also have a four-step framework that we like to use. And so when we think about this framework, we start with the least formal step and only escalate when you need to. So the four steps are going to be coaching conversation, counseling memo, written warning, and then separation. Now, the goal here is never to move through all four of these steps, but instead, the goal is to give the employee a real opportunity to course-correct at each stage before you take the next one. Now, step one is really where a lot of this lives, and that's going to be a coaching conversation. And I want to be clear that this isn't a formal action, uh, but I want to share an example of what this actually sounds like. So when you go to an employee, you can say, "Hey, I've noticed a few missed deadlines over the last couple of weeks. I want to check in on what's been getting in the way and figure out if there's anything I can do to help you get back on track." Now, when you break that down, you're all all you are saying to the employee is that you notice something, you want to understand what's happening, and that you want to help them get back on track. Now, that is a coaching conversation, right? You're not reading from a form. You're just a manager doing your job. Now, the part most managers skip is that even an informal conversation should leave a brief paper trail. And this doesn't have to be a formal document, but just a simple follow-up email summarizing what was discussed and what was expected will work just fine. Because really, if the concern continues and you need to take the next step, you want to be able to show that you've addressed it early. And really, that note is what makes the whole process defensible. Now, when you find yourself having to take that next step, you have to start formalizing this. And so the counseling memo is going to be the first formal step. Now, this is not disciplinary by any means, but it is documented and it is serious. And this step, it it puts the concern in writing as observable facts versus opinions. So this counseling memo, it's going to name the expectations that weren't met that weren't met with examples. It's going to set a clear time-bound improvement target. So no missed deadlines for the next 30 days is an example of that. It's also going to say what support is being offered, and then it's going to say what happens next if improvement doesn't occur. So this form, there's nothing ambiguous about it, and it is written down. That third step in the process is a written warning. And really, this comes when prior steps haven't worked or when the situation is serious enough to skip ahead. Going down the warning path, it escalates everything formally, right? The employees need to understand that continued employment is at risk. So this is going to summarize what's already happened, what needs to change, and then by when. Uh, and then it's just going to state clearly that termination is the next step if it doesn't. And then obviously, separation is going to be that final step when all reasonable paths to improvement have been exhausted, uh, or when something is serious enough that continuing the employment just isn't appropriate regardless of prior steps. But I will say it is important before you get here to confirm the documentation tells a complete and factual story. Uh, you want to make sure that you are, um, consulting with all parties involved and be prepared to confirm that every reasonable opportunity was offered to the employee. Now, something important to to remember is that the framework really is a judgment call. It at the end of the day, it's just a framework. It's not a it's not a checklist that you have to follow. Uh, you do have the ability to flex or skip steps when something warrants immediate escalation. So that could be something like, you know, a policy violation, a safety issue, um, something that really just threatens internal trust between the employer and the employee. With that, you can also slow down or just repeat steps when someone is showing genuine effort or when you realize external factors contributed to the problem. All in all, this structure is just going to give you guardrails versus a script or a checklist that you just have to follow from start to finish. 

 

Speaker 1

Yeah, I like that you pointed out that it's flexible. I think that's something that's really important while we have our, um, our process that we like, which is the informal conversation and then the formal memo and then the the written warning and then, of course, termination if it leads to that. I appreciate that it's easy to flex up or down or escalate up or down based on what's going on. Obviously, if we're talking about, you know, a harassment claim or bullying, we're not going to go through all of these steps. It is straight to like a written and potentially last chance or termination just because of that, depending on how egregious what they did. Um, I I know that from a leader perspective, from a CEO perspective, when I have people come to me and say that they want to, uh, put somebody on a final written warning or they want to terminate them and I hear that this is going to be the first conversation they've had, it just makes me crazy. And so when they can come to me and say, "Here are all of the conversations I've had with this person. Here's the entire process we followed. Here's our documentation," it makes me feel better that we have given the employee a chance to succeed. Like, we have really set them up for success and not just kind of told them they're doing something wrong and then expected them to figure out how to fix it. Um, and then legally that we have ourselves covered, that we are making good decisions, not biased decisions, not decisions based on anything other than truly work performance. Um, and so while I think most CEOs, obviously, I have an HR hat in my CEO work, but while most CEOs may not think that way, I think that they would still feel so much better if someone says, "These are this is all of the steps that we have done. Here is the path that we have taken. And now we really are at the point where we need to, um, have separation or, you know, exit them from the business, knowing that we have done everything we possibly can to get the person where they need to be."

Speaker 2

Mm-hmm. Exactly. And, you know, the other thing, too, is that we can have this process and we can have the paperwork and everything, but it's the coaching the managers that is really what's going to help out in the long run here. So, you know, I like to tell folks that the prep matters more than the actual template itself. You know, most managers, they're not trained on this, right? So handing them a counseling memo template and just wishing them luck is not coaching. It's just paperwork. And they're going to roll their eyes and not be thrilled to have to go through this process, right? So what they need before the conversation is a mindset check and a prep conversation. So when we sit down with the managers and start that coaching, we want to start with the mindset. This conversation is really about clarity and development. It's not punishment. We are not going in to try to punish employees. We just want to be clear and open up a line of communication. So if the manager walks in defensive or emotional, it's not going to go well, right? And that's the whole thing. So before anything else, as HR, we want to make sure that the managers can understand all of that before going in. And then they need to work through the actual substance. So were expectations actually communicated for this? Uh, not assumed, not implied, just communicated. And then did the employee have a real opportunity to improve? Uh, and then from there, the manager can stay factual. I need more ownership from you is not actionable, right? But saying something like, "Here's what I observed and here's the impact, um, and then here's where I need to see the change," that is something that's going to be actually actionable for an employee. So part of that coaching conversation is going to be walking the manager through what they're going to say before they actually say it. So you want to make sure that you're practicing the opening if they need to, uh, because again, the goal is that they walk in calm, specific, and just ready to listen, not ready to defend a decision that they've already made. Uh, the coaching conversation is supposed to be a real conversation, not a verdict being delivered with extra steps. The debrief is also part of the job. So after the conversation happens, debrief with the manager. Uh, we want to know what went well, uh, what they should do differently or what they would do differently. And then from there, that reflection is how you build someone who sees performance management as a normal part of leading, not a last resort they pull out when things have already fallen apart. You know, you're not just handling this one situation. You're building their capacity for the next one and the next one and the next one. Now, you also want to follow up on the employee side, too, right? Like, this isn't just as a surveillance, but more as accountability for the process itself. When you connect with them, you want to make sure that, um, they answer questions like if the the support that was promised is actually available to them. Uh, you want to see if the improvement target is realistic or not. Uh, if the manager told the employee they'd connect with them around training resources, um, and if that happened and if follow-through is part of what makes the process credible or not.

Speaker 1

Yeah. So, you know, you and I spend a lot of time in leadership development training. And as part of our Leadership 101 day that I do a lot with clients, there is an entire module, an entire two hours or so on feedback and communication, delivering feedback to, um, employees. And that can be performance feedback or it could just be general coaching. And we go through, uh, several different, uh, frameworks that they can use to deliver that feedback. And what I find over and over and over again is that managers never were they've never been trained on how to do this. Normally, there's been no formal training. And so we assume that it's easy for everybody to just go into a coaching conversation and know how to do that and know how to be human and know how to keep their emotions in check. But that's actually really hard to do if you've never been trained or you don't have much experience to do it. So especially when you have new managers, they have no idea how to go into these conversations. And so I think having having coaching conversations with them, the manager who has to have the conversation first, helping them through the opening, helping them understand how to keep their own emotions in check because employees may get defensive. They may push it back on the manager. They may talk about how it's not their fault and it's somebody else's. There's all kinds of things that could happen, right? I think having them be set up properly for the conversation is, um, really an important part of HR's job. And while, you know, we have been clear in past episodes that we don't think we have to be in all of those conversations and we don't think we have to definitely manage all of those conversations, I think we do have to set up managers well to handle them themselves. And that's exactly what, uh, everything that you've just talked about does. It kind of gives them, um, to your point, kind of that building that capacity because the more you do it, the better you get at it. And so helping them set it up, especially if it's the first time they've done it, and then doing a follow-up on how did it go? What did you learn from it? There's always something afterwards you think, "Oh, I wish I would have said that," or, "I wish I would have handled it differently." What did you learn from it so that they get more and more comfortable as they have to do it because they're going to have to do it again, right? This is not just one of those things where they get one employee and then never do it again. So I think overall, kind of what what we wanted in this episode was just to give a very quick process, if you don't have one, coaching conversation, formal memo or kind of informal memo, and then formal written, and then termination, but really to kind of talk about the setup of what are we doing when we avoid things and how easy can it be to just have these conversations? I can't tell you how many times in my career when a leader would come to me and say, "So and so is doing this or not doing this," and I would say, "We'll have you talk to them." And they would just look at me with this blank stare on their face because, no, of course they haven't. And so it really can be as simple as just helping managers understand that if we can just address this right now, if we can just have a conversation right now, to your point, that's like, "Hey, you're missing some deadlines. What's going on? What what what can we what can I do about that? Or what what help do you need?" So simple in the moment, actually, and can avoid months of ignoring it until it blows up into something that's completely massive. Um, so I, uh, certainly hope that just this quick little framework and, and, you know, quick guidance on how to set managers up for success can really change performance conversations in, uh, your organization. As always, we have resources for you. Um, so we will link those resources in the show notes, and then they are found on our website. We have a counseling memo template so you can see exactly kind of what we're talking about in a memo situation. Um, we have a performance coaching conversation guide and a conversation starter library. So lots of resources. All of those will be linked, um, in the show notes. And you can always find free and exclusive resources on our website as long as along with our blog and every all the other content that we have for small employers. Um, if you are not subscribed to the HR Connection, please do so. As always, this is a show that brings you content exclusive to the 1 to 500 employee space. Um, because as I always say, small business HR is not just smaller HR. It's its own discipline. Uh, we know that because that's where we work. And we want to make sure that we're always sharing content that's helping you navigate that unique space.

Speaker 2

Yeah, Sabrina. And one thing before we sign off completely, I just want to remind everybody that the bar here, it's not a perfect process, and it never is. But it really is about, you know, implementing a fair one that starts early, communicates clearly, and gives everyone involved a real path forward. And that really is something that is achievable. And like she said, we just gave you the framework to build that. Uh, thanks everyone for being here. We'll see you next time.

Speaker 1

See you next time.